@pattonoswalt

Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt

http://www.pattonoswalt.com/

1970 - 2016
“It’s chaos, be kind.”
@pattonoswalt

1970 - 2016 “It’s chaos, be kind.”

The baby in the first picture turns into the girl in the second picture before you know it. Breathe in and savor time. Happy birthday, Alice.
@pattonoswalt

The baby in the first picture turns into the girl in the second picture before you know it. Breathe in and savor time. Happy birthday, Alice.

Loved this stylish little touch at the already stylish and beautiful @hotelcongress. Little envelopes to remind you to tip the cleaning staff. I know $$$ is tight but whenever you stay in a hotel, IF you can, leave what you can for your room service staff. They deserve it.  We do horrible things in those rooms.
@pattonoswalt

Loved this stylish little touch at the already stylish and beautiful @hotelcongress. Little envelopes to remind you to tip the cleaning staff. I know $$$ is tight but whenever you stay in a hotel, IF you can, leave what you can for your room service staff. They deserve it. We do horrible things in those rooms.

Yeah! Get your tickets now for @secretlifeofpets, opening June 2nd! Me, @tiffanyhaddish, @kevinhart4real, @ericstonestreet and HARRISON FORD!
@pattonoswalt

Yeah! Get your tickets now for @secretlifeofpets, opening June 2nd! Me, @tiffanyhaddish, @kevinhart4real, @ericstonestreet and HARRISON FORD!

Alice Oswalt achieving nirvana on the jungle gym. Photo by @mattoswaltva.
@pattonoswalt

Alice Oswalt achieving nirvana on the jungle gym. Photo by @mattoswaltva.

Tonight’s @nbcapbio takes place at a faculty murder-mystery dinner and cringe is beyond hilarious. @villepique and @lizderfer really get a chance to shine in all their glorious weirdness, and you’ll also see a tender side of @aparnabrielle before she goes right back to annoying you again. Good God I love this show. #APBio
@pattonoswalt

Tonight’s @nbcapbio takes place at a faculty murder-mystery dinner and cringe is beyond hilarious. @villepique and @lizderfer really get a chance to shine in all their glorious weirdness, and you’ll also see a tender side of @aparnabrielle before she goes right back to annoying you again. Good God I love this show. #APBio

These amazing graffiti murals on the Univeral lot, by @tristaneaton. I WANT THEM. Hey @criterioncollection — hire this guy to design a DVD cover or several. Wow!
@pattonoswalt

These amazing graffiti murals on the Univeral lot, by @tristaneaton. I WANT THEM. Hey @criterioncollection — hire this guy to design a DVD cover or several. Wow!

This is @jjasghar, who I just met at the Austin Airport. He’s flying to Vancouver to do a tech conference on a subject that, even thought he clearly and succinctly explained it to me, melted my brain. Just a jet setting genius. And he’s wearing a hilarious T-shirt with a picture of the Millennium Falcon with a *tiny* detail designed to enrage nerds. Great big sweetie. Safe travels, JJ!
@pattonoswalt

This is @jjasghar, who I just met at the Austin Airport. He’s flying to Vancouver to do a tech conference on a subject that, even thought he clearly and succinctly explained it to me, melted my brain. Just a jet setting genius. And he’s wearing a hilarious T-shirt with a picture of the Millennium Falcon with a *tiny* detail designed to enrage nerds. Great big sweetie. Safe travels, JJ!

They’re both just so OVER each other.
@pattonoswalt

They’re both just so OVER each other.

Loving the battle-scarred, wasteland-outpost vibe of @thirdplanetcomics in Houston.
@pattonoswalt

Loving the battle-scarred, wasteland-outpost vibe of @thirdplanetcomics in Houston.

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